What Your Wine Choice Says About You
- Cab (ernet)
“Cab” is the only wine type you can confidentially pronounce
You’re turning into your mother
- Chardonnay With An Ice Cube
You have become your mother
Yes, yes we all know you once spent a semester in Germany.
You take your steaks still mostly alive.
You’re under 21 or want to look like it
- Pinot Grigio
You have a terrible Italian accent that you very much enjoy using.
- Pinot Noir
You thought you were ordering the other pinot.
You love all-you-can-eat breadsticks
You sometimes drink syrup
- Malt “Wine”
You’re not above drinking things out of brown paper bags
You think Australians have sexy accents
- Under $10
You pick wine solely based on how cute the label is.
- Boxed Wine
You say you drink so infrequently you don’t want the want to spoil, but really you drink so frequently you need wine on tap.