What Your Wine Choice Says About You

  • Cab (ernet)
    “Cab” is the only wine type you can confidentially pronounce
  • Chardonnay
    You’re turning into your mother
  • Chardonnay With An Ice Cube
    You have become your mother
  • Riesling
    Yes, yes we all know you once spent a semester in Germany.
  • Merlot
    You take your steaks still mostly alive.
  • Rose
    You’re under 21 or want to look like it
  • Pinot Grigio
    You have a terrible Italian accent that you very much enjoy using.
  • Pinot Noir
    You thought you were ordering the other pinot.
  • Chianti
    You love all-you-can-eat breadsticks
  • Port
    You sometimes drink syrup
  • Malt “Wine”
    You’re not above drinking things out of brown paper bags
  • Shiraz
    You think Australians have sexy accents
  • Under $10
    You pick wine solely based on how cute the label is.
  • ¬†Boxed Wine
    You say you drink so infrequently you don’t want the want to spoil, but really you drink so frequently you need wine on tap.


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