White Guy Dance Moves

The Sprinkler:

  1. Dominant hand behind the head
  2. Arm in air
  3. In a jerking motion bringing both arms together in a flapping motion as you spin in circles unit nouseous or booed off the floor

98% of spectators believe that the person performing this move is having some sort of seizure

The Microwave:

  1. Imagine a microwave is in front of you
  2. Open the door and place item inside
  3. Enter cooking time enter your imaginary wrist watch
  4. Open door and remove item
  5. Eat item using quick scooping motions while hooping to one side of the room… don’t you feel so cool?

9 out of 10 white guys use this as their “go to” dance move

Sorting the Recycling:

  1. Walk in place with both hands bent at 90-degrees angles from the elbow (as if holding two trash bags)
  2. Stop and drop bags, bend over
  3. White bobbing up and down, start sorting into proper receptacles

12% effective in attracting the opposite sex

The Baconator:

  1. Lay on floor facing ceiling with arms at side
  2. Moves hips from side to side
  3. Shake legs up and down
  4. Roll onto stomach and repeat steps

63% of those who perform this move wind up in the hospital with head-related injuries

The shoplifter:

  1. With hands tucked under opposite armpits and walking in place, reach one arm out at a time (as if reaching for an item on the shelf)
  2. Repeat as necessary

46% of those who perform this move are arrested for speculations of misdemeanor theft

The Elaine Benes:

  1. Bend knees at a 45-degree angle
  2. In one fluid motion, throw head back and to the left while jerking one arm
  3. kick one foot out as if trying to dislocate a joint. Rinse and repeat

Statistically the least successful white guy dance move in history, with less than a 2% applause rate

The Epileptic:

  1. Stand tall with arms at side
  2. Beginning from the feet walk up a violent shake
  3. Roll eye into back of head for added effect

30% of those performing this move end up in a coma

The Tap snap:

  1. Bend arms at 90-degrees
  2. Snap fingers to the beat of the song
  3. Bab head to beat of song

15% of those who perform this move can actually keep a beat

Doing Ya Taxes:

  1. Lick tips of the finger of right hand
  2. Move fingers as if typing on calculators
  3. Slick hair back with left hand
  4. with right hand on top of left, move in and upward motion as if pulling on a piece of gum
  5. Drop to knees and throw hands in the air with head back and repeat

75% of those who perform this move have never actually done taxes

The windmill:

  1. Right hand in the hair, left hand at side
  2. swing hands violently in a forward circular motion
  3. Thrust hips back and forth while bending knees in at a 45-degree angle

3 out of 4 spectators are injured as a result of being too close to the performer

The Running man:

  1. Stand with your feet together, arms relaxed by your sides
  2. Lift and bend your right leg, forming a 90-degree angle then lift and bend your arms, elbows out to the sides with relaxed fists
  3. Lower your right leg, sliding your left leg back and lifting the left heel, while leaning slightly forward and push your arms down
  4. Repeat these hip steps over and over again

90% of those who perform this move know all the lyrics to vanilla ice’s “Ice Ice baby”

Toss the Dice:

  1. with legs hip width apart, lean to one side and bend kneels at 45-degrees angle
  2. Bend dominant arm at 90-degrees angle above head then clench a loose fist and shake
  3. After 3 to 5 shakes, throw arm forward and unclench hand
  4. Repeat by leaning other side and using other arm

43% of those who perform this move develop tennis elbow, But 100% have never played tennis

 

white guy dance moves

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