What Your Wine Choice Says About You

What Your Wine Choice Says About You

• Cab (ernet)
  “Cab” is the only wine type you can confidentially pronounce
• Chardonnay
  You’re turning into your mother
• Chardonnay With An Ice Cube
  You have become your mother
• Riesling
  Yes, yes we all know you once spent a semester in Germany.
• Merlot
  You take your steaks still mostly alive.
• Rose
  You’re under 21 or want to look like it
• Pinot Grigio
  You have a terrible Italian accent that you very much enjoy using.
• Pinot Noir
  You thought you were ordering the other pinot.
• Chianti
  You love all-you-can-eat breadsticks
• Port
  You sometimes drink syrup
• Malt “Wine”
  You’re not above drinking things out of brown paper bags
• Shiraz
  You think Australians have sexy accents
• Under $10
  You pick wine solely based on how cute the label is.
•  Boxed Wine
  You say you drink so infrequently you don’t want the want to spoil, but really you drink so frequently you need wine on tap.