What Your Valentine’s Day Gift Says About Your Relationship
A little cliche considering the day, but who the hell cares? It’s the ultimate symbol of love and commitment. Plus, it’ll make all your friends green with envy
Verdict: Your commitment to each other reminds us all what valentine’s day is all about.
Whether it’s a mix tape, some original poetry or a coupon book full of thoughtful gifts like free messages and car washes performed by your lover, this gift is from the heart and it shows that your significant other truly cares about you
Remember: Always look at the merchandise, never the price tag.
Verdict: Your relationship has a solid foundation of mutual respect and love. Cherish it
There are few things better than the chance to spend a romantic weekend tucked away with your significant other. That’s true love
Verdict: You two are adventurous, fun and like spending time together ; a great recipe for success.
Home Cooked Meal
Food is seductive. Food prepared by your lover is downright decadent. Savor each bite and when the meal is over you won’t have to travel far to have desert.
Verdict: Yours is a down to earth relationship that you can sink your teeth into. Bon appetit.
This is a go-to gift for a reason – precious stones are rare, valuable, and long lasting, just like your relationship. (Add 15 degrees if the jewelry is personal and unique. Subtract 20 degrees if it’s a half-a-heart necklace.)
Verdict: Your relationship for all the world to see
Out To Dinner
While not exactly the most original choice, a night out at a high end restaurant can be a feast for the senses and an opportunity for both of you to sit back, relax and get to know each other all over again. And no, olive Garden doesn’t count
Verdict: Your relationship doesn’t need constant thrills to remain satisfying. Here’s a toast to the slow simmer that can last a lifetime.
Always a gamble, but if your partner know’s you well enough to get something you’d like, this can be a flirty gift that makes you feel like a Victoria’s secret model. If they miss the mark, it can lead to very early chilly valentine’s night
Verdict: Your Partner is trying to spice up your relationship and you need to do your part. Unless you’re just not into it anymore…?
Flowers are an easy-to-buy gift that requires little thought or planning. Not the best message to be sending on this special day for the two of you. (Add 15 degrees if combined with one of the above gifts. Subtract 15 degrees if still in the grocery store plastic.)
Verdict: The flowers may survive longer than your relationship if you don’t make some significant changes.
It may be a bottle of your favorite fragrance or a certificate for an hour long massage and while both are nice, they don’t score any points for originality or intimacy.
Verdict: A tepid gift for a tepid relationship. While it may be comfortable, it certainly isn’t a storybook romance.
This is the valentine’s gift your Dad always got your Mom, swinging by the nearest drug store on his way home from work that day. Probably not your vision of the perfect relationship
Verdict: Don’t be fooled – these sweets are trying to cover up the bland nature of your relationship
Appliance are everything practical: a blender, a phone, a backpack, et cetera. This is not the time to get your sweetie something they need; this is when you get them something they desire
Verdict: The Romance is quickly draining from your relationship; time to plug the leak, or else abandon ship
This is the type of gift you give your aunt for Christmas; no thought or effort required. Makes you wonder how much effort you should be putting into this relationship.
Verdict: Drop your lazy lover and shop for other candidates.
Verdict: Drop your lazy lover and shop for other candidates
If you unwrap your gift to find one of those cheesy, custom printed romance novels where the lead characters are named after you, you’re either 15, or your significant other is of creepy. (Subtract 15 degrees if your characters are vampires.)
Verdict: Time to drive a stake through the heart of his relationship.
Stupid Sex Gifts
Edible undies, glow in the dark bras, porn movies and the like are for bachelor/bachelorette parties, not Valentine’s Day.
Verdict: Send your significant other back to the frat house. They’re not ready for a serious relationship
Surprising you with kung pao on a random Tuesday is sweet; on valentine’s Day it’s just plain lazy. Time to throw this relationship out with the leftover rice and chopsticks.
Verdict: Our fortune cookie says you deserve better
Tattoo Of Your Name
Congratulations, you’re dating a psycho! Where a few may see this as the ultimate expression of love and commitment, most see it asd creepy and demented. (Subtract 50 degrees if the tattoo also contains your face.)
Verdict: Tell them you love it, then slowly back away and run as fast as you can.
Your significant other is one of those hard-wired independent types who think Valentine’s Day is nothing more than a superficial, greeting card company created holiday. Lucky you
Verdict: Find someone who can put their personal biases aside and give you what you need once a while.